Today my husband and I celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. When I think back over the years, I can’t believe how fast it has gone.
Today, life seems to go at such a fast pace, I wonder when I can get off the merry-go-round. Sometimes I feel like I’m just going in circles. And we are not a busy, busy family. We have four children from ages 13 to 1. Only one of them is in any activity outside of school right now, and it is about to end.
Some days I feel such pressure, or stress, I just want to curl up in bed and hide. There is always something to do—wash something, buy something, cook something, fix something, put stuff away that was washed or prepared, read something, fill out forms, clean something, organize stuff, get rid of stuff. I am constantly going through clothes for four kids. It never seems to end.
I long for the days when we could stay home and hang out with neighbors or have impromptu picnics or the kids could play in the neighborhood until dark (actually, in our area they can). I long for evenings when we don’t have to rush somewhere after dinner. At least we all eat together most nights—I know some days that won’t happen as the older children get further into teenage activities.
It isn’t that we are involved in too much, it’s more like everything we do requires stuff—uniforms, binders, papers, books, schedules, etc. And then there is the tech stuff—DVDs, CDs, the DS (we wouldn’t have it, but a neighbor gave it to us when they upgraded), the X-box (given to us, too) and the toys, games etc. that permeate a house with children. We own too much of everything.
We have been watching the Walton’s on DVDs (borrowed from the library!—I love the library) and I think about the simpler days though they were going through the depression. Relationships were deeper, more meaningful and in person, not through email or Facebook. And the little stuff they had was well-made either by hand or in our own country.
I’m hoping the merry-go-round slows down soon, but in the mean time, I’ll just hold on tight!